(Me with my birthday tool box. Cannot make that stuff up.)
Being an adult is hard.
“I WILL BE SO FANCY WHEN I’M AN ADULT,” you tell yourself. “I WILL ALWAYS LOOK SUPER CUTE AND GROWN UP AND ATTEND SWANKY THINGS AND HAVE IT ALL FIGURED IT OUT!” Blessings to you, adorable teenage Olivia Johnson. You really thought you knew what was up. I am both respectful of and disgusted by your naivete.
The real world operates a little differently. Yes, I do realize the irony that I just typed that sentence while sitting on the couch at my grandparents’ home and staring out the window at the lake. It’s so easy to seriously say statements such as “I’m super independent, I love doing things on my own. I feel such peace and contentment in my times of solitude” when you are 21 and in an apartment surrounded by all of your best friends who conveniently live either with you or less than fives minutes away (and that’s walking time). It’s a little less easy to think those things in the middle of the night when you are FOR SURE CONVINCED someone has broken in the townhouse to STEAL YOU and you have come to the conclusion that your best mean of escape is to HIT YOUR ATTACKER OVER THE HEAD WITH A POOL CUE. Another time it’s hard to be positive about adulthood is when you get home and you are so dang tired you can hardly stand and have approximately zero patience left and need to do all of your lesson planning for tomorrow and have absolutely no more clean socks or underwear and then realize that YOU ARE ALSO RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING YOUR OWN DINNER TOO.
However, it is from these tough moments that you gain something that only comes from experience, confidence. After a few nights of starvation when you feel no longer capable of consuming any more macaroni and cheese or pizza rolls, you garner the motivation to start making real (ish) meals (I’M LOOKING AT YOU DELICIOUS LASAGNA FROM MONDAY THAT I AM STILL TRYING TO FINISH). On the scary nights in the dark alone, when you are CONVINCED someone else is in the townhouse, you learn that the fear can be vanquished with simply a few minutes of a good book or a little Taylor Swift. When you have had THE WORST DAY EVER, you figure out little things that can make everything better like going for a run, spending extra time with a devotional, baking a yummy treat (duh), watching a few episodes of Gilmore Girls or The Office, or working on your knitting (no shame). In the times you’re feeling so dang lonely, you understand how lucky you are to have people in your life you love you oh so much, and that a silly text, or phone call, or FaceTime, while it may not completely remedy the situation, makes things a little better and less lonely. Life doesn’t get any easier or less confusing, but it does get sweeter and sweeter with the pride of accomplishment and the grace of maturity.
So pop some popcorn, get your jammies on, start a silly movie, and just relax, because you’ve totally got this.